LGBTQ+ Information for Parents

Many young people will come to conclusions about their sexual orientation and gender identity during their teenage years. This is during a time of already immense change.
In a world which still views being heterosexual as ‘normal’, gender as being the same as the biological sex you were born with, and anything else as ‘different’, coming out can really add to the pressure and anxiety that young people feel.


The increased risk of poor mental health and being LGBTQ+ is well documented. Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t cause these problems. But some things LGBTQ+ people go through can affect their mental health, such as discrimination, homophobia or transphobia, social isolation, rejection, and difficult experiences of coming out.

Embracing being LGBTQ+ can have a positive impact on someone’s wellbeing. It might mean they have more confidence, a sense of belonging to a community, feelings of relief and self-acceptance, and better relationships with friends and family.

In response to these issues Chosen Hill School is aiming to become a positive LGBTQ+ inclusion school. To help us achieve this goal we are excited to announce that we have enrolled on the Rainbow Flag Award. This is a quality assured whole school approach framework towards LGBTQ+ inclusion, as well as developing strategies to effectively challenge and combat LGBTQ+ phobic bullying. It is aimed at improving the lives of all the young people within the school, as well as the LGBTQ+ young people in our care, those from LGBTQ+ families, and LGBTQ+ staff members.

"Coming out" is a lifelong journey of understanding, acknowledging and sharing one's gender identity and/or sexual orientation with others. It may be quick and easy for some, or longer and more difficult for others.

It is important for parents of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) teens to remember each child is unique and will have their own experiences and feelings along the way.

  • Take it seriously. It’s positive that they can place their trust in you and want to be honest with you.
  • If possible, give yourself some time to think things through. It’s OK to tell your child that it may take you some time to come to terms with their news. But reassure them that you’re working on it, and you’re still here for them.
  • Think about how you felt about them before they came out.
  • Think about their feelings. Recognise the courage it’s taken to tell you.
  • Be aware of your own values and judgements.
  • Be open. If you can share your feelings, then they are likely to be open too.
  • Ask questions and find out what they need from you (if anything).
  • Let them educate you: ask questions, be curious. It shows you’re interested, and this can really boost their confidence and self-esteem.
  • Saying: “It’s just a phase”. While some children and young people may be exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity, phrases like this can dismiss or make light of how they feel.
  • Saying “I thought so”. This could make them anxious that people have been talking about them or they may worry about what they have been doing to make it obvious to others.
  • Overly questioning if they are “sure” that they are LGB or T. It’s important to listen to and accept how they feel. Dismissing or disrespecting their feelings could push them away at a difficult time.
  • Reacting with confrontation or anger.
  • Try not to panic. If you can be relaxed, it should become normal to be able to talk about this – and anything else.
  • Don’t make it all there is. Their identity isn’t everything they are. They’re still the same person you know and love.
  • Thinking “where did I go wrong?” There is nothing you have done or failed to do. They are simply who they are.
  • Keep talking to them. They might not open-up fully at first but in time they may want to confide in you.

Gay Glos
https://www.gayglos.org/
We provide support for people of any age who have concerns about issues in relation to their sexual orientation or gender identity, their families and friends. We also run a youth group for people aged 14-18.
Tel: 07903 472899
Email: admin@gayglos.org

 

Mermaids
https://mermaidsuk.org.uk/
A support website for transgender, non-binary and gender diverse children, young people and their families.
Tel: 0808 801 0400 Mon-Fri 9am-9pm.

 

 

FFLAG
https://www.fflag.org.uk/
We are a national voluntary organisation and charity dedicated to supporting families and their LGBT+ loved ones.
Tel: 0300 688 0368

 

Family Lives
https://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/teenagers/sex/coming-out/

 

Stonewall
https://www.stonewall.org.uk/